Thursday, 12 April 2012
I’m trying to be more #positive, but dealing with negative people and difficult situations has really got me down lately. I don’t know how to handle certain recurring situations without getting defensive and negative myself. Maybe you can help.
What is the right way to handle the following situations:
The Devil’s Advocate
I make a statement or a managerial decision and instead of just taking it at face value someone will want to argue about it. It’s not just one person, and it doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s something as serious as how to handle a network problem or as mundane as whether the elevator seems slow today – someone will force me to spend a half hour justifying why I took that position.
The History Writer
One of the most frustrating situations that really gets me down is when someone attempts to recant some previous incident, but their “memory” of the event is completely distorted and makes me out to be some sort of derranged crybaby. Whether it’s a previous conversation where I supposedly gave consent for something, or a meeting where I supposedly jumped out of my chair and challenged someone to fisticuffs – I can’t help be feel defensive and hurt when someone fabricates me into stupidity.
I had someone waltz into my office today and tell me that he felt like a needed project didn’t get done because I’d intentionally hindered it, probably because of my “personal issues with other employees.” What??? I seem to recall it didn’t get done because of poor planning and lack of funding. But the history writer rewrites it however he wants to.
The Know It All
It doesn’t bother me when someone has a lot of interesting facts on a variety of subjects. I think that’s pretty cool. What bothers me is when they assume that no one else can approach their level of expertise and they dismiss what I have to say without even hearing it. I have my own ideas about things. And having them get shot down like a beer can at a redneck party is depressing and frustrating.
Your Own Worst Critic
Sometimes it’s a backhanded compliment and sometimes it’s a just a point blank direct insult. But what really gets me is when I make a mistake or I’m incorrect about something, and they stop the presses. It seems like other people can be wrong all the time, but I get one thing wrong and every sentence for the next several days will start with a very smarmy “I thought you said ___”.
Haters Gonna Hate
It’s taken some time for me to learn to accept that not everyone is going to like me. In fact, if I work with you and have to in any way criticize, demand, or hold you accountable for something – you’re probably not going to invite me to the after work parties. But what do you do when someone makes it a point to make you aware of just how much they don’t like you? it's in their tone of voice, they way they ignore you, or slam the door as they leave, or - Like when they say “Hey are you guys coming over tonight? I mean, except for you – you’re not invited.”